I was driving to Chicago for family business when a rain storm hit. It was one of those hydroplaning, can’t see in front of me, still going 65mph kinds of storms. The car was enveloped by rain. I was enveloped by melancholia. The trip back home was one of many I anticipate to make this summer. Each will be sadder than the last. I can’t hope for a happy ending, only a peaceful one. In the midst of this melancholic funk, I hear George Jones singing about crying and beer. I come out of the daze and think, of course I’m in a funk because aren’t all George Jones songs about heartache? I slip a Tom Waits cd in. Tom Waits always perks me up. Not this time. I finally settle on Nancy Griffith. I remember Ann Richards telling a story how she always listened to her while driving the endless miles of Texas. It took her mind off any troubles she had. I also remember one of my students asking why such a happy person as me listens to such sad music. I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.
I need to be in the peace and tranquility of my garden, weeding or moving plants, or just reading -- my garden or any garden right now. I will admit that it would look strange if any of you found me weeding your garden one morning. Or I want to be on the computer looking at other gardens and talking to garden friends on Blotanical. Yeah, I think of all of you as friends. Anything but driving to Chicago.
I will not be blogging as much as I would like for the foreseeable future. Whatever spare time I have will be spent in my garden. I will miss my daily interaction with the community that is Blotanical.
Big Blue is almost ready to flower. Pat said it was waiting till I got home. Maybe.
17 comments:
Life. I am sorry that you are having these experiences, whatever they may be. Just know that while you are enjoying the peace of your gardens, we're thinking of you and when you're able to return - we'll be glad! :-)
Well Jim, I will be praying for your as you are absent from our garden more often and hope that you will find refreshement there in the limited time that you have.
We will all still be here when you are able to return :-)
Dear Jim
we will surely miss your posts but family matters come first. Sounds like a sad story. When melancholia hits, the sad songs are more empathetic than the ones about silver linings. I find Emmylou Harris does it for me.
Looking forward though to whatever tales from your garden you have time for.
Hope and pray things resolve
Laura x
Jim, I went back to see older posts I had missed to try to understand what is happening in your life. I am sorry for what must be going on that is trying to your heart. Take good care of yourself and yes being in the garden instead of on a computer is better to help you heal and feel. ;>)
Dear Jim, My heart goes out to you. Please be kind to yourself and make happy memories of the time you have, slow down in the rain.
I also will be praying for you as you are away from home and gardens.
Hope all goes well for you. Pat will keep the home fires burning for you and your gardens will always be a haven when you return.
FlowerLady
Take good care Jim. I think I'd be so happy to find someone weeding my garden it would eclipse any shock about what they were doing there :D
Jim, Your trips to Chicago sound like my bi-weekly trips to visit my ill mother in Rhode Island. We, too, are hoping for a peaceful end. I'm lucky in that I stay at my brother's house when I'm there, in a guest room with a networked computer; and I escape from the stresses of the situation by reading garden blogs. I think you are smart to prioritize garden time (which is very renewing) over blogging time. We'll all look forward to your return to blogging when you are able. -Jean
Jim, you'll be in my thoughts, and I hope that at least there is some beauty to catch your eye on those long drives to Chicago.
You will definitely be missed here, and I hope you store up pictures of Big Blue and stories of the garden to share with us in winter -- or whenever the season of melancholia has passed and you get a moment.
Sending you a big hug of commiseration as you deal with your tough times. May the garden be your solace!
p.s. Don't come down here to weed our garden; it's over a hundred with the heat index almost every day lately, yesterday humidity was 86% (yet no rain), which makes it feel like the air is nearly solid, and all weeding gets done at dawn or not at all.
I wouldn't wish that torture on anyone. :P
Jim, will be praying for you. A few years ago, I had to make 3 hr. drives to Nashville weekly for a few months to care for my mom. Nancy Griffin's "Ford Econoline" and "Just once in a blue moon" made the trip much more tolerable. I hope the time you are able to spend in the garden becomes a welcome respite from your travels. I know it did for me. Hang in there.....
Take care of yourself Jim. Don't drive fast when it rains please. Your hosta will be waiting for you, and we are waiting for your postings. I thought about you while preparing a post about visiting a garden of a hosta hybridizer. When I think about hostas, I think about you.
Jim - words never seem enough or just quite right, but I wish you peace & and santuary - in your soulmate and the garden that waits for you to tend.... -Shyrlene
Jim, I've made the similar boring drive but with a starting point of Chicago and ending in SE rural Indiana, visiting my brother and relieving my parents for a bit on weekends (after a near fatal car accident). This went on every weekend for almost a year. Best to stock up on uplifting music and audio books.
I found it helpful to make my own CDs (tapes back then)..I usually began with sadder, depressed music to match my mood and gradually stepped up to something more lively, bringing my mood up as well.
Great idea to spend your spare time in the garden. Great therapy. It's also helpful, even a little, to stop on your long drives for a few minutes to stretch and soak up the wildflowers along the roadside. You'd be surprised what you see if you linger a minute or two.
My heart and thoughts are with you, Jim. Take care and drive carefully. I look forward to hearing from you again, whenever you can.
Hugs!
Hello Jim, I have just come out of several years of watching my parents' health decline, then my brother, who had cancer. It was a sad and exhausting experience, filled with responsibilities and decisions I did not want. But it is a stage of life many of us go through. My thoughts are with you. I do hope you find peace in your garden, as well as from Pat and other family members. I look forward to hearing from you when you are able.
Dear Jim, My thoughts are with you. I have just come out of several years of watching my parents' health decline, then my brother, who had cancer. It was a sad and exhausting time, filled with responsibilities and decisions I did not want. But it is a stage of life many of us go through. I hope that you will find peace in your garden, as well as from Pat and other family members. I look forward to hearing from you when you are able.
Hi Jim, I'm sorry for whatever it is that you are going through but please just enjoy your spare time in the garden, when you can. I am doing much less blogging and visiting and just enjoying most of my free time in my garden. There will be time for computering when the weather is lousy! Hope this finds you doing well.
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